schizophrenia

Surprising New Thinking, New Treatments-Schizophrenia cure

(Marvi Lacar/KQED)

KQED’s three-part series on schizophrenia aired in the summer of 2014, with the support of a Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism.

Our goal was to explore ways that scientists are re-defining schizophrenia — a mental illness that affects just over 1 percent of the population — and new treatment approaches that are beginning to emerge, especially here in California.

Preventing Schizophrenia

This research took us across the country, from New York to San Diego, to meet pioneers in the field of “prodromal” early intervention. This is the controversial idea that schizophrenia may be prevented before its formal onset, in children as young as 10.

New York-based photographer Marvi Lacar came along for the Southern California reporting, capturing portraits of young people taking part in two such prevention programs.

The resulting radio story, the first in our series,“New Clinics in California Seek to Stop Schizophrenia Before it Starts,” aired on KQED-FM on July 28, and statewide on the California Report soon after.

A ‘Dementia That Hits Young People’

The next story introduced us to researchers who say psychiatry has focused too narrowly on schizophrenia’s most famous symptom: hallucinations and delusional beliefs. Perhaps, they argue, schizophrenia is more fundamentally a disease of basic brain functioning, a “dementia that hits young people.”

That belief gives rise to a new treatment approach using computer games to target nuts-and-bolts brain functions such as memory and comprehension. The second story in the series, “What Is Schizophrenia?” (8/4/14) begins at a clinical trial for one such game, where one participant drifts subtly in and out of delusion. “Would you like to see voices too?” he asks.

For a generation of neuroscience-oriented researchers, those kinds of delusions have been viewed as the meaningless (and usually harmful) byproducts of a diseased brain, something to be eradicated with anti-psychotic drugs. Now that notion is being questioned too.

Listening to the Voices

For some people living with schizophrenia, voices and delusions may not be the most problematic symptom, researchers told us. Some patients may actually benefit from paying attention to the content of their voices, possibly transforming them into an experience that is benign or even helpful.

We explore that idea in our third radio story, “What It’s Like to Hear Voices” (8/11/14). Online, we hear from voice-hearers about the complex relationships they’ve developed with their delusions and hallucinations. We meet one young man whose voices taunted and isolated him for years. But now that they’re mostly gone, he says he sometimes misses them.

source;http://ww2.kqed.org

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What Does It Feel Like To Have Schizophrenia? Outside And Inside The Chronic Brain Disorder

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I met my new neighbor for the first time a week after she’d moved in. Jill was a petite brunette who laughed easily and told me she’d majored in art history. Luckily, she’d found a job in publishing. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, she looked exactly like what she was: a recent college grad trying her luck in the city. Our schedules didn’t sync so about six months went by before I saw her again. This time, I mainly noticed conservative clothes and a serious expression: a professional woman had been born. We ran into one another at random times. Time passed. Climbing the stairs, I saw her standing motionless outside her door, the keys dangling from her hand. I said hello and she turned and wordlessly stared at me. I asked if she was OK. She mumbled and then shifted her glance as if trying to hear a distant sound. I asked again, and this time she said nothing. She didn’t appear to be upset or in pain or drunk or in danger. I went inside my apartment. After half an hour, I heard her door open and shut.

Two months later, I saw Jill’s mother — the family resemblance was obvious — standing in the hall. In a jumbled rush, the distraught woman confided in me: Jill had just been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Before I could speak, Jill opened her door. She looked even more remote, more lost inside her own head. Catching her mother’s eye, I felt miserable as well.

Schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder with symptoms that may include delusions, hallucinations, trouble with thinking and concentration, and a lack of motivation. The disorder affects slightly more than one percent of the population and is found to run in families. For this reason, scientists believe there is a genetic component to the illness, though too little is known of its exact cause. Schizophrenia typically begins in early adulthood, with the average age of onset for men being 18 and for women, 25. It is extremely rare for schizophrenia to begin under the age of 10 or over the age of 40.

“My son, aged 43, was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 19 years old,” wrote a caregiver in a publication by the British Psychological Society. “My son had a disturbed childhood. He did not talk until he was 2 years old and had obsessional habits such as constantly twirling objects and spinning around and around. When he went to school he had concentration difficulties and did not read until he was 8. However, he was very musical and played the trumpet and the guitar.”

Although treatment may relieve symptoms, the condition is lifelong. Like many mental health conditions, schizophrenia cycles through active and inactive periods. The positive news is many people find that with experience and proper therapy, they better understand their condition over time and so find better ways to manage symptoms. In many cases, symptoms may lessen as a patient grows older. To those on the outside, people with schizophrenia may appear one way: They don’t always make sense when they talk. They may pause unexpectedly in the midst of conversation or sit for hours without moving or talking. Sometimes people with this illness appear absolutely average until they speak and their thoughts come to light. On the inside, schizophrenia is another matter.

“As early as five I heard voices. I didn’t speak in school, teachers hated me,” posted a mother in South Carolina on a mental illness website. “I began [to] self-mutilate. It was the only way I could release the pain I felt inside. I was bottled up inside, the voices were unusually mean and a torrent of insults everyday.” Sometimes, people with schizophrenia believe other people are reading their minds, plotting to harm them, or controlling their thoughts.

“I was diagnosed as having schizophrenia in the 1980s when I was in my mid 20s, although in retrospect I had some delusions and hallucinations when I was at university,” wrote another patient for the British publication. “I was hearing voices and was reading strange meanings into what was going on around me. At one point I ran away to Scotland because I was so scared of what was happening inside my head […] In the end I took an overdose and was going to cut my wrists so friends called the campus doctor.” After years of effort, “working my way through 29 different antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers and anxiolytics,” this patient found a combination of drugs that works without too many side effects.

“The voices are still awful when they are really loud. They discuss me, put me down, shout obscenities, comment on what is happening to me and tell me to do things that put me in danger,” wrote the patient. “I often end up seeing the world in a very different and frightening way and at the time I’m having these delusions I really believe them. I can still get very distressed by it all but these days living with schizophrenia is easier than it was when I was first ill.”

Doctors treating patients usually aim to help them break what many people with schizophrenia experience: cycles of episode-hospitalization-discharge-relapse. The goal is to smooth out these experiences and to this end, medication has been found to be most helpful. Doctors also recommend support groups, which help patients to identify the stressful situations that may bring on an episode. Other suggestions include exercise, proper eating, avoiding alcohol and recreational drugs, and keeping a record of personal experiences in order to better understand the disorder and its unique expression and impact. Like every illness, schizophrenia is as individual as those who receive the diagnosis. It is only with support and effort that patients find the unique best way of managing their own care.

source;http://www.medicaldaily.com/

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Schizophrenia Is Not A Four-Letter Word

SCHIZOPHRENIA

Meet Drake. At 15, He felt unsafe around his friends when he was at home. Afraid he might show his “quirks” and they would judge him or maybe say mean things about him. Alone at home a lot, he started to imagine “another me” to keep him company.

No one knew.

At school he was sociable. But the “other me” started talking to him more and more. Distracting him constantly and making him do things. Turn on and off the lights 5 times. Check the locks. Again. Again. Again.

At 16, the voice became meaner. Never stopping. Telling him that people were going to break in every night. The locks didn’t make a difference. Less sleep. More coffee. Less sleep. More coffee.

OK. Changing the subject. When I used to play in Jazz clubs (back in the day), there was smoke all around us. I was not a fan of the smoke. What I didn’t know was; it was the reason I started getting horrible sinusitis. The pain was unbearable and constant. It went past physical pain, partly because of its non-stop, unceasing duration but also from the lack of sleep. The combination of sleep deprivation and long-term pain does something to a person that is hard to explain without experiencing it.

I remember looking at my bedroom wall and really considering that smashing my head against that wall over and over might be a really good way to minimize the pain. I didn’t do it, but it seemed like a true option at the time.

You know, I never realized until this moment, as I am writing this, that doing that might have killed me. This may sound weird but until this moment, I never considered how it would have affected me. That’s the thing about being in the middle of pain, we see options… often bad options but we don’t see anything beyond trying to stop the pain.

That’s what I am told by my clients, who have suffered that pain of mental illness, is what they feel like when they are in the midst of their pains. They may not be hitting their head against a wall; it may be drugs, risky behaviors, avoiding the world or even attempting something that could also end in permanent injury or even death… all they care about, at that moment, is ending the constant pain.

To the people who care about them, once this young person chooses “the other way”, all the people around them see is the consequences. “Didn’t you know that if you did “X” you would end up “Y””. It is understandable for those around you to feel this because the process of suffering is so often done in the dark. The sufferers try to protect those around them and some feel that by minimizing it, it may go away.

So blame is a dead-end street.

How do we go on from here?

Back to Drake:

At 17, the voice was a constant torment. It would say terrible things about the people around him and make him wonder about what people were thinking about him. His only salvation was knowing that someone on the TV really cared about him (or so he imagined).

Drake was still keeping all this to himself but it was getting harder and harder to do so. The pain kept getting worse until the idea of getting high to run away from all of this sounded like a good idea and it worked! At least for the first few times, then… the damn broke. The weed made it impossible to hide how he was feeling. Ashamed, fed up and unable to bear the voice he decided to jump of a bridge into two feet of water.

Drake woke up in the hospital and spent the next year between medical care and mental health facilities.

When we met, a year after his discharge, he was able to get around in a wheelchair. He was sober and ready to work. One of the first things he said to me was he hoped that he would never walk again, as he seemed to be a better person now. He was on meds that were working. I pointed out to him that what made him different now was that he didn’t have to hide from Schizophrenia. He could seek out help and we could work on getting back into finding his personal greatness. It wasn’t the “not walking”.

It has been two years now that we have working together. Drake is back at university and getting high 80’s in the courses he likes. He has stated: “I should be doing things that make me happy not crap that make me feel complacent” and so we work on courses and past-times he loves and not done to please others. He helps so many friends and even people he chances upon in is daily journeys. He does wheelchair basketball, guitar, has chosen his vocation in life and I know he will excel at it. His new girlfriend and him communicate brilliantly and are there for each other.

Sometimes though, he says: “I am overwhelmed by becoming the new me“. That’s OK too. But none of this was possible until he embraced what he was suffering with and could seek help from others who would not see him as a label but as an amazing person, ready to contribute to our society, in need of guidance.

If you are someone going through this… know that there is help out there.
If you are a parent suffering in seeing your child go through this… know that once things are stabilized, your child can still find greatness in their lives and that their challenge can help them be more of a help to others in life.

If you are someone who wants to Mentor young adults with mental health issues… know that by studying a Mentoring course, specializing in young adults and mental health, you can change lives with one or two years of part-time training.

source;http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/

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Do People With Schizophrenia Really Have Multiple Personalities?

For people with schizophrenia, it can be difficult to determine what is real and what isn’t. This chronic mental disorder is characterized by hallucinations and delusions — false beliefs, hearing voices and seeing things, among other abnormal perceptions — but do people with schizophrenia really have multiple personalities?

Schizophrenia actually refers to problems with hallucinations, not multiple personalities. In general, everything you see, hear, touch, smell and feel is processed by your brain. Special cells, called sensory receptors, take in information from the world around you and communicate the data to your mind, buthallucinations are sensory experiences without a stimulus — the brain is essentially getting faulty data. In people with schizophrenia, these hallucinations most commonly manifest as voices originating from inside the head or from a person who isn’t there, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

Personality, on the other hand, is a different concept. The American Psychological Association defines personality as “individual differences in characteristic patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving.” It can also be understood as “how the various parts of a person come together as a whole.”

Of course, if the information you’re getting about where you are, what you’re doing and who’s around you is flawed, it could certainly have an impact on your cognition and behavior. But the idea that people with schizophrenia have more than one personality is a common misconception, experts said.

There is, however, an illness that causes people to adopt different personalities. That phenomenon is known as dissociative identity disorder (DID). Fluctuations in mood and behavior are normal for most individuals, but those with DID alternate among multiple identities, each with its own voice, characteristics and mannerisms.

DID is a “trauma-based illness,” Dr. Randon Welton, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Pennsylvania State University’s Milton S. Hershey Medical Center, said in a statement. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, DID is “more likely to occur in people who have experienced severe, ongoing trauma before the age of 5.”

While the two disorders are different, they may have something in common. In the U.S., approximately 2.4 million adults, or 1.1 percent of the adult population, have schizophrenia, according to the NIMH. DID falls under the umbrella of general Dissociative Disorders, which, according to the the National Alliance on Mental Illness, affect an estimated 2 percent of the population. Experts have been long been interested in the biological origins of mental illness, and one idea in particular resurfaces about every generation: infection.

With the advent of genetic research, “people thought there would be only ‘brain genes’ involved, but many [of the genes associated with these disorders] involve some aspect of the immune system,” Dr. Robert Yolken, a virologist and infectious disease specialist at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore, told Live Science. The idea here is that some sort of infectious agent (such as a virus) might trigger an immune response in the body that eventually leads to the development of a mental illness, he said.

“There’s a subset of people with a degree of immune activation in the brain at the level of the glial cells,” Yolken said. Glial cells are part of the nervous system but do not directly communicate via electrical signaling, or synapsing, the way nerve cells do. There are three types of glia: astrocytes, oligodendrocytes, and microglia, and they all function to support the signaling abilities of neurons according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information.

Glial cell inflammation could lead to hallucinations, rechanneling of the surfaces involved in memory and cognitive deficits — symptoms that can correspond with an illness like schizophrenia, Yolken said.

Some infectious diseases, like syphilis and malaria, are already known to induce psychiatric symptoms. But Yolken speculated that more common and even asymptomatic viruses, such as cytomegalovirus, which infects nearly one in three US children by age 5 according to the CDC, might trigger mental illness in individuals with a genetic predisposition. If an association is found between infections like CMV and mental illness, that could spur vaccine research or other public health measures, he said.

“Prevention is always better. In theory, if we could come up with infections that we know are more common, even though [psychiatric symptoms] only manifest in some people, it would be worth it” to develop vaccines against those infections, Yolken said.

source;http://www.livescience.com/

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MY NAME IS NOT SCHIZOPHRENIA: REMOVING THE LABEL

Derogatory language hurts when an individual is diagnosed with a mental illness.  And few mental illnesses provoke such derision and insensitivity as schizophrenia.

Opinions about the disorder are often strongly held, such as those of Chris Summerville, executive director of the Manitoba Schizophrenia Society, who argues that “calling a person ‘a schizophrenic’ is like calling a black person the ‘n’ word,”  presumably due to the dehumanizing nature of such labelling.

What is it about the term schizophrenia that provokes such strong reactions?

Since its discovery, schizophrenia has been one of the most difficult and complex psychological disorders to treat.  The modern-day term schizophrenia, meaning “splitting of the mind” was coined in 1908 by psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler.  This new diagnostic name replaced psychiatrist Emil Kraepelin’s term “dementia praecox” which focused on early onset and poor prognosis, instead of what Bleuler considered to be the universal underlying problem:  splitting of the basic functions of personality (a feature we no longer view as associated with schizophrenia)

Although schizophrenia is now considered mainly a neurological disorder,  the new vulnerability-stress framework used in treatment, acknowledges that biological, psychological and environmental factors influence its onset and prognosis.

 

Widespread unfamiliarity with the realities of schizophrenia has been shown to cause fear and discomfort in interacting with those suffering from the disorder.  In a 2008 survey conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, only 43 percent of respondents said they would tell their friends if they had schizophrenia; 27 percent admitted that they might be embarrassed if a family member had the disorder.  And, 64 percent of respondents still incorrectly believed that split or multiple personalities are characteristic of schizophrenia.

What do these data suggest about the role the label itself plays in the lives of patients diagnosed with the disorder?

In 2002, the Japanese Society of Psychiatry and Neurology changed the old term for the disorder “Seishin Bunretsu Byo” which translates to “mind-split-disease” to the new term of “Togo Shitcho Sho” or “integration disorder” to better accommodate the new vulnerability-stress model.  According to Sato Mitsumoto, a professor of psychiatry at Tohoko Fukushi University, the renaming was focused on removing the deep rooted negative image that is commonly associated with schizophrenia.

Being diagnosed with schizophrenia is a life-altering event that produces a powerful emotional response for patients and their families.  It still comes with considerable stigma infused with strong social, cultural, and emotional meanings; meanings that come to shape and define the individual’s expectations and experiences with the disorder.  Mitsumoto cites this as a leading reason why Japanese mental health professionals were refraining from diagnosing patients with the old term.

The renaming, reported to have had positive outcomes for patients suffering with “Togo Shitcho Sho” raises the question:  Could doing away with the term schizophrenia, for a different label, promote less stigmatization in North America as well?

In 2011, Tomer Levin, a psycho-oncologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center proposed that a new bio-psychosocial name, Neuro-Emotional Integration Disorder (NEID) could impact patient education and attitudes towards medications and treatments.  He argued that emphasizing the neuropsychiatric basis of this treatable brain disorder through its re-labelling could reduce this disorder’s stigma.

Levin also emphasized the need for a universal term with easy translatability along with multicultural and global acceptability.  While the Japanese term may be translated into English, he questioned the ease with which other cultures might be able to adopt the new terminology.

While Levin argued that the re-naming would be a vital step in the de-stigmatization process, other researchers like David Penn and Amy Dummond, of the University of North Carolina, stated that even if the label were changed,  if continually paired with the disorder, the new term would also become stigmatizing.

Penn and Drummond believed that more important in de-stigmatizing schizophrenia than a change of terminology was an increase in public education focused on the compassion and de-stigmatization of the real challenges with which people with schizophrenia are faced.

Schizophrenia may be chronic in many cases but it is also manageable, and a variety of treatments are available to those who need them.

For people to live healthy, successful, socially active lives, it is necessary that a person does not “become” their disorder.  Summerville’s view is that calling a person  a “schizophrenic” removes the characteristics defining that person’s identity, his humanity.

source;http://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/

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6 Things I Wish People Knew About Having Schizophrenia

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I live with schizophrenia, and here are six things I wish people understood about my experience:

1. I’m not violent. Most of us aren’t. People with mental illnesses are actually more likely to be victims of violence than the other way around. Some people are scared of us because of this wrong assumption, but if you treat us with respect, we will treat you with respect — just like any other human being.

2. I see things, but I manage my illness well enough that I know not to interact with my hallucinations in public. I don’t want to scare anybody. I know I’m the only one who can see my hallucinations. I’m not going to communicate or interact in any way with someone or something I know other people can’t see. Getting into a debate about what is real and what isn’t is one thing. I have doubts sometimes about my hallucinations being completely not real, like maybe they are from another dimension or realm… but now we’re getting into delusions. Let me tell you about those.

3. I have delusions, which means I have false fixed beliefs. I may think you are a spider and not look you in the eyes…but that’s the extent of how much it’ll affect you. While I can tell what’s a hallucination and what’s not, delusions are a different feeling. I get paranoid as well. So if I give you a look, or seem scared, just reassure me, or ignore me. Either way, don’t escalate it. Don’t get defensive and give my mind a reason to be paranoid. My demeanor may have set you off, but then your behavior will only feed my paranoia.

4. I have a thought disorder, so it’s hard for me to understand things sometimes. Give me a second to catch up. If you’re talking really fast or about complicated things and I look lost or I’m only replying minimally, please give me a break. Some people just don’t listen well, but that’s not me. I’ve been called a bad listener plenty of times because I couldn’t follow a conversation or a lesson in class. Just give me a second to catch up. Ask if you think I’m having trouble. But don’t accuse me of not listening. I’m trying the best I can.

5. Sometimes, I have mild poverty of speech. That means I can’t find the right words for things. Please don’t look at me weird if I call the coffee maker a “red box.” It’s not a big deal. Give me a minute to find the words. Be patient with me. Because I’m desperately trying to find the words for “coffee maker,” and sometimes I even start crying because I just can’t find the right words. And it may not seem like a big deal to you, but when it feels like my brain is short-circuiting, I feel stupid and get frustrated, so try to be patient and helpful. Even just offering the right words can be so helpful. Simply saying “coffee maker” is like a lifeline back to rational thoughts sometimes.

6. Just because I have a chronic mental disorder doesn’t mean I’m mentally incompetent. I just have extra trouble sometimes. I can work. I can drive. I’m a person like everyone else. I’m just a little more unique. You could even say, I’m extra special in some ways. Give those of us with mental illnesses a chance. We see the word differently. We can offer a new way of looking at things. You might even learn something from us.

source;http://themighty.com

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What is it like to have schizophrenia?

As mentioned by the previous users, I can only add my personal and unique perspective on the subject. And I have to say that I recognize myself in some details of what they describe. Especially regarding creativity, sensitivity and intellectual awareness. I don’t intend to make this answer anonymous as I don’t really hide my condition in my everyday life. My answer may explain why.

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First I’d like to establish a few things:

  • English is not my first language, so you’ll have to excuse me for my lack of elegance.
  • I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. With a big tendency for paranoia.
  • I take my medication regularly (believe it or not). And I know from experimenting with it that they really help me stay comfortable.
  • I’m fully functional in society. I have a full-time job and am even going back to school to push the limits of my knowledge. I’m very friendly and quite the ordinary guy, with some small signs of my strong artistic side.
  • The Ideas, as I’ll call it, are always there. The medication only prevents them from being invasive and obsessive.
  • And finally, I don’t believe it’s a disease. As painful and troubling as the effects can be, I think that someday we will have a better understanding of this phenomenon. I don’t necessarily think it’s a gift. But I think its something inherent to our spiritual human nature.

So…What does it feels like for me to have schizophrenia?

The premise is pretty simple and not very original I’m afraid. I’m the anti-Christ. This fact slowly took shape in my mind during some very bad moments I’ve been through about 10 years ago. Of course in the meanwhile, we where getting close to the year 2000, so it was very appropriate. But looking back through my childhood, I realize I’ve had these kind of ideas all my life.

So being the anti-Christ, a huge concept of conspiracy is automatically revolving around me. And in a funny way, none of the actual and trendy conspiracy theories really fit with what I have in mind. The result is a mix of primal fear from being the center of so much attention and some kind of weird pride at somehow being worthy of all this.

I live permanently in two worlds. The everyday life in which I have to focus on essential matters like working to get food and the world of symbols and what I like to call echoes. If I don’t take medication the symbolism surrounding me gets too obsessive, and I lose grip on the everyday. The main effects are rather huge waves of glorious euphoria or very long moments of deep anxiety. And each of them for very specific reasons relative to the Ideas. Medication just gives me the guts to push the Ideas to the side and stay focused on everyday reality. Like some kind of professionalism.

When I ask what specifically are the effects of the medication on me, the doctors usually answer that it slows down my imagination. The image of my imagination as a machine that can turn too fast is kind of funny.I know its a matter of chemistry, but in my Ideasour imagination is our third eye. And I can’t live with mine wide open for now. I hope that in time I’ll learn to look in both worlds at the same time. I’m actually getting pretty good at it but I still need the medication to close my eye a bit.

So.. What happened?

The big event…the big wave hit me about ten years ago. I can’t event put a specific date or even year on it. A big explosion of inspiration, love, hate, rage…. In short my ego imploded, crushed by the stress and my total lack of self-esteem. What I did and said at that moment, alone in my apartment, have been following me ever since. I lost track of time, stopped cleaning myself, eating or sleeping for about a week. Then a lot of people got worried and I’ve been escorted to the hospital. I’ve spent a month during which they explained me that what I called enlightenment was in fact an hallucination due to a chemical imbalance in my brain. I was very stubborn, and not always coherent in my attempt to explain what I’ve been through. Finally I took all the pills and went back home with a big cloud of confusion over me.

I spent maybe a year of ordinary life but kept playing the prophet on different message boards on the internet. In a casual kind of way but somehow very serious about it. So another wave hit me. Again another display of my ego as a long speech alone in my apartment. But this time someone came to visit me. Someone who gave me the clear feeling to have witness everything I previously said. Everything suddenly became way to concretefor me. After this meeting I fell into a deep phase of violent anxiety. Something I can only describe as hell. I think only a few person can understand what I mean. After two intense weeks at the hospital I went back to work. Back on my feet, and decided to confront my fears.

I stayed in this state of constant stress for about two years. Until I decided to regularly take the pills and put all the Ideas far away from me. It’s been a real relief, and for a few years I totally stopped thinking about it. Then some change came in my life and it triggered the whole thing all over again. But this time no ego, just the crushing feeling of having this huge conspiracy over my head. I managed to get back on track without a visit to the hospital and these events revealed a lot of things to me. The doubt and the confusion are gone and now I know what I have to live with.

And now?

Now all my creative energy goes in art. I’m slowly putting together the pieces of all the visions I had over the years. It feels like a constructive way of bringing the concepts in reality. I have no ambition of commercial success whatsoever. My dedication goes into giving shape and life to what lives in me. The Ideas are still very present as you can notice by the tone of this answer. I fully realize the social impact of living them openly. But surfing the wave is the best I can do.

source;http://www.quora.com