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10 Hidden Sign of Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that generates significant emotional instability. This can lead to a variety of other stressful mental and behavioral problems.
With borderline personality disorder, a person may have a severely distorted self-image and feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Anger, impulsiveness, and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though they may desire to have loving and lasting relationships.

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If you or someone you know have borderline personality disorder, don’t get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better with treatment and can live satisfying lives.

signs of borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder affects how a person feels about themselves, how they relate to others, and their behavior.

Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:

  1. Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe love-making, gambling sprees, or illegal drug use
  2. Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, while often feeling unable to change it
  3. Wide mood swings
  4. Short but intense episodes of anxiety or depression
  5. Inappropriate anger and antagonistic behavior, sometimes escalating into physical fights
  6. Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
  7. Suicidal behavior
  8. Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty, or hopeless
  9. Fear of being alone
  10. Feelings of self-hate and/or self-loathing

borderline personality

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As with other mental disorders, the causes of borderline personality disorder aren’t fully understood. Experts agree, though that the disorder results from a combination of factors. Factors that seem likely to play a role include:
* Genetics– Some studies of twins and families suggest that personality disorders may be inherited or strongly associated with other mental disorders among family members.
* Environmental factors– Many people with borderline personality disorder have a history of childhood abuse, neglect and separation from caregivers or loved ones.
* Brain abnormalities– Some research has shown changes in certain areas of the brain involved in emotion regulation, impulsivity and aggression. In addition, certain brain chemicals that help regulate mood, such as serotonin, may not function properly.

With borderline personality disorder, a person often has an insecure sense of who they are. Their self-image, self-identity, or sense of self often rapidly changes. They may view themselves as evil or bad, and sometimes may feel as though they don’t exist at all. An unstable self-image often leads to frequent changes in jobs, friendships, goals and values.

Their relationships are usually in turmoil. They may idealize someone one moment and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even minor misunderstandings. This is because people with borderline personality disorder often have difficulty accepting gray areas — things seem to be either black or white.

If you’re aware that you have any of the signs or symptoms above, talk to your doctor or a mental health provider. Proper treatment can help you feel better about yourself and help you live a more stable, rewarding life.

If you notice signs or symptoms in a family member or friend, talk to that person about seeing a doctor or mental health provider. Remember you can’t force someone to seek help. If the relationship causes you significant stress, you may find it helpful to see a therapist yourself.

source;http://positivemed.com

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5 Things I Wish Others Knew as a Parent With Borderline Personality Disorder

I was officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) when I was 19 years old. My mom and doctors had a pretty good hunch the signs weren’t just “typical teenage behavior” the closer I got to 18, but it wasn’t until I began seeing a psychiatrist on my own at the age of 19 that I was officially diagnosed.

Andria and her son.

In junction with my BPD, I’m also diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Fast forward five years and here I am. I’m a mother to a 3-year-old boy, and I’ve spent the past three years trying to get parenting “right” in spite of my BPD tendencies. Between my impulsive spending habits, anger that seems to stem from some dark place deep inside and the black and white thinking I can’t seem to get under control, it’s been the most challenging and emotionally trying three years of my life so far. I spent a lot of time researching how to successfully parent while living with BPD. Much to my dismay, the majority of the articles and pages I’ve found were not supportive of parents who live with BPD. Instead, I found numerous websites and articles devoted to support of the children damaged by a parent with BPD, articles that warned others about the abuse a child with a parent with BPD is likely to experience and tips on how to ensure a child is safe emotionally and physically while being parented by someone living with BPD.

This got me thinking: If I could say anything as a parent who lives with BPD, what would I say?

These five things are what I came up with:

1. I love my son.

And not in the sense of BPD-typical black and white thinking where one day I love him and the next I can’t feel it. The one thing that is consistent, no matter what, is that I love my son more than I ever thought was possible. Even on my bad days, he is the one light I can find in all the dark.

2. I’ve learned to manage my anger. 

In spite of my issues with anger, I’ve never abused my son physically or verbally. I used to be a very explosively angry person, irrationally so. It is a daily battle to keep my temper in check, but I’m living proof that a parent who lives with BPD can successfully manage their anger. I’ve found that giving myself a “parental time out” when I feel close to just losing it has helped immensely.

3. My ability to be a good mother isn’t defined by my diagnosis.

In spite of the articles I’ve read that basically say children of parents with BPD are doomed to be miserable and damaged, I’m determined to prove I can and will be a good mother to my son. I work ten times harder to get being a mother “right” because of my BPD. My son means the world to men and I refuse to let the stereotypical idea of mom with BPD influence who I am as a parent.

4. I know parenting with BPD is hard.

I don’t need to be reminded that things are going to be harder for me as a parent because I live with BPD. I’ve had several people say to me, “You do understand things aren’t going to get easier, right? It’s always going to be harder for you.” Yes, I do understand that. I also understand that fighting harder every day to manage my impulses, anger, self-destructive thoughts and black and white thinking is worth it. My son is worth it.

5. We’re going to be OK.

My son is going to always have a roof over his head, food to eat, clothes to wear and a mom who loves him. We have our good days, and we have our days where handling my “issues” is more difficult, but I know in my heart we will be OK. I’m not alone in my battle to raise my son while managing my BPD. I have an amazing support system, and I have the determination to beat the stigma that revolves around being a parent with BPD.

source;http://themighty.com/
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How to Be Friends With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

This post has come about off the back of a conversation I had with a close friend who had been struggling to know how to react to me at times, or understand why I was behaving in certain ways. I’m so proud of her for having the strength to bring this up with me because it was never going to be an easy conversation, but it was one that had to happen sooner or later.

One of the things she mentioned was she had gone looking for information on how to be friends with someone who has borderline personality disorder (BPD) and didn’t get very far. It seems so obvious, I can’t actually believe I didn’t think to write something like this before, because there is so much I’d like people close to me to know – about the times I hide, the times I ask over and over again if everything is OK, the times I seem angry, the times I seem distant – the most important thing is it’s nothing to do with you. I (occasionally way over)react to everything, even the seemingly inconsequential things. I’m working so hard to get a handle on it all, and I’ve been making huge progress since starting with Therapist 2.0, but there are still times BPD will get the better of me.

Actually, it occurs to me as I write this that while it’s personal to me and my own family and friends, it could equally apply to anyone who is either trying to understand a friend, or trying to explain to a friend what it is they need. In no particular order of preference, here are a few bits I think might help us all:

1. Be honest with me. If I have said or done something to upset you, please let me know. The conversation might not be pleasant, but avoiding it just makes things worse

2. Sometimes I won’t be able to talk to you. It’s nothing personal. It’s just sometimes I feel so awkward and out of place I can’t actually string a sentence together

3. Similarly, sometimes you won’t be able to talk to me because I will frustrate the hell out of you.That’s OK. If you need some space, just tell me. It’s up to me to manage my response to that.

4. If I don’t make eye contact, that’s a pretty strong indicator that I’m not doing well.

5. You are not responsible for making me better. If you can, listening on a bad day would be awesome, but I understand that won’t always be possible. You’re not my therapist!

6. I want to know what’s going on with you – never, ever feel like you can’t talk to me. There are two of us in this relationship.

7. I’m really good at picking up on your moods, good, bad or otherwise. Unfortunately I also have a tendency to assume it’s my fault if there’s something wrong (I’m working on that one, honestly), so if you’re able, talk to me. Chances are I’ll understand.

8. Sometimes my reactions to seemingly minor events will be epic. Nine times out of 10, it’s nothing to do with the actual event but rather what it has triggered in me (I’m working hard on that one too).

Things are changing for me. It feels so, so good to finally be getting some control over BPD, but it’s also a little scary – I have to get used to new ways of managing my behavior, and then you have to get used to me behaving differently. I’ve discovered there are quite a few things that have to happen every day to try and keep myself on the straight and narrow, and that takes a considerable amount of time and effort, both of which leave me flattened on occasion.

You won’t always understand, you won’t always want to, but I honestly believe as long as we keep talking to each other, as long as I keep doing what I now know I have to do, it will be OK

source;http://themighty.com/