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6 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAD A MISCARRIAGE

The morning I lost my baby was a completely normal, boring morning. I got ready for work, made it there with at least five or ten minutes to spare, joked with my boss about a card she found, sat down and did my thing. I write all this because it was such a completely and totally innocuous morning. No pain, no cramping, nothing wrong. When I saw the blood in the toilet, my boss took me to the hospital as a precaution, not because either of us thought anything was truly wrong. I was eleven weeks pregnant, after all, and chances were likely this was the spotting that so many newly pregnant women experience. It wasn’t. Though I’d never had reason to think about it before, within less than 24-hours I knew there were at least

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I want to start by disclosing that it’s been Years for me since I lost my baby, but somehow it still hurts. Last week I found out a friend of mine lost hers and I knew it was time to write this post. So whether you’ve been through it or are reading to better know how to support your friends, know that my heart is with you. I truly have been there, and I am very sorry for your loss.

6 Things NOT To Say To Someone Who Had A Miscarriage

1. It’s better it happened now.

No. That is never the case. I know people are trying to be supportive by imagining how much more painful this loss would have been had baby made it further along, but the truth is from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was already imagining my child through every stage of her life…even as far as believe in my heart that she was a girl. Her name would have been Emma Elizabeth and even if I’d lost her the day after I found out I was pregnant, it would have been too soon.

Instead…ask your loved one about the child they were carrying. Maybe they didn’t think much about it yet, or maybe…like me…they want people to know how amazing their child would have been.

2. It wasn’t your time.

That does not help even a little bit. All that does is offer in questions of fate and religion and the great beyond. All I wanted was a chance to curl my arms around the beautiful orange teddy bear I bought for Emma and cry about all the things I wouldn’t ever be able to say to her. Thinking about universal truths or a grand plan only made me feel bitter and angry about the baby I never got to hold. The truth was, I needed to go through the five stages of grief, and telling me it wasn’t my time was like skipping four of them and going straight to the pretty end.

Instead…be present with your loved one with whatever stage of grief they are in. If they are angry, be angry. If they are bargaining, listen to it. Eventually they will reach a state of acceptance and they will be so thankful that you helped them through those stages.

3. It wasn’t meant to be.

This is another one that hurt like hell. You would never tell a grieving parent who lost a breathing child that it wasn’t meant to be. Nooooo. Telling a woman who miscarried a baby that that baby wasn’t meant to be takes away every single dream, hope, plan, and even that little bit of time she actually had with that child. This isn’t a debate about the moment of humanhood or anything like that…if a woman miscarries a child and is upset about it then in her mind that child already WAS. No wasn’t meant to be about it because that child was fully alive in her mind.

Instead…keep it simple. I’m sorry for your loss. That really is enough.

4. So are you going to keep trying?

This one hurts my teeth. Losing a baby isn’t like getting a bad score on the LSAT. Before ever even beginning to think about trying again or future pregnancies or adoption or anything else, women who have miscarried have to make it through the loss of this child. This one. My Emma was my world though I never met her and I would have laid down my life in exchange for hers. Keep trying? Not an appropriate question.

Instead…ask your friend or loved one if there is anything they want to do in memory of the baby they lost. Let them lead the discussion.

5. So when will you go back to work?

Even the most well meaning friends asked me when I’d go back to work. I was lucky, my boss told me to take all the time I need, but because miscarriage isn’t an illness some people forget that grieving takes time. My child was a part of me from the moment those lines turned blue; her death felt like a part of me died.

Instead…ask your friend or loved one if they’ll need any financial help while they are grieving. Are there any bills that need to be paid, or phone calls that need to be made. What can you do to make this time of grieving less hard for them?

When anyone loses a child I think we all struggle with what to say to them. We want to be supportive, but not pry. Loving, but not smothering. The biggest thing to remember about anyone who has a miscarriage is that they did indeed lose a child. Love them. Listen to them. Give them your support. If you’re able to do those three things you will make it easier for them to grieve. And if you can’t figure out what to say, then don’t say anything. Sit with them. Hold their hand, if they’ll let you. Hug them when they ask. Being there for someone who has miscarried will mean more to them then words could ever express.

source;http://totallythebomb.com/

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How I Overcame Severe Eczema When Doctors Said There Was No Cure

As a kid, I suffered from severe eczema for most of my life. It was a really tough battle – especially if you know anyone else who suffers from it. I was seeing doctors on a weekly basis and getting steroids, cortisone creams, and medications – most of which don’t work on a large population of eczema sufferers.

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As an individual who was covered almost 100% from head to toe with severe eczema, my doctor said mine was one of the worst they had ever seen. I was unable to find many online resources or conventional treatments that helped, which led me to discover how nutrition could change my life. Since then, I have become a Registered Holistic Nutritionist to help other people overcome eczema by using food – nature’s greatest medicine – to bring healing to the body.

I hope to share my experiences to help you get better. I have since learned that there is a cure and there is always a way to help it get better.

MY STORY

I was born with eczema, and have lived with it for over 10 years – and today I have experienced so much healing from it. When I was 15, my eczema suddenly became so severe, that my body was covered with it and I used to wake up with blood and dead skin flakes all over my bed. My legs looked like they were burned, and the flakes were so big and so numerous that I could sweep it and it would become like a large pile of sand on my floor. It was a scary experience.

I would walk down the streets with people looking at me and I was constantly seeing doctors on a weekly basis for steroid medications or check ups – that did not help. The doctors said I would never heal. It was very painful to walk (because of the eczema on my knees and joints), painful to wash my face, and my whole body would sting when I showered. I was afraid to see people – and afraid of what others thought of me. I was unable to wear t-shirts during the hot summer; it was very traumatic, and I kept praying and praying for God to cure me.

Severe eczema on my leg
Severe eczema on my leg
At times it looked like my leg was burned
At times it looked like my leg was burned
…and today my eczema has healed so much!
…and today my eczema has healed so much!

When I was young, I really believed that eczema had ruined my life – because it stopped me from doing things I wanted to do. I lived in Hong Kong at that time, and whenever I went back to Canada for the summers, my skin would naturally heal itself for some strange reason. Eventually, when I was 17, I moved back to Canada to start university. Luckily, my skin healed itself naturally, but it did not solve the original root cause of the eczema flareups. For some strange reason, when I was 25, my skin flared up very severely again – for no particular reason.

Before – during my high school prom – when the eczema flared up all over my arms and chest. It was the most difficult time, but this was not yet at it’s worst.
Before – during my high school prom – when the eczema flared up all over my arms and chest. It was the most difficult time, but this was not yet at it’s worst.
After – so much of the eczema is gone!
After – so much of the eczema is gone!

Everyone around me was very worried for me – my family, my husband (who was my boyfriend back then), and even my friends. I was scared and very discouraged. I felt the physical pain of it and my workplace even gave me unlimited sick days and work-from-home days, as they saw how tough it was for me.

Finally – I saw a naturopath and nutritionist, and was told that it was nutrient deficiencies, food sensitivities, a damaged gut, and product sensitivities that were causing it. I did muscle testing to figure out which foods and environmental sensitivities I had. For the next few months, I used clean products (that were natural without chemicals), supplements, did a detox, and I completely changed my diet. I switched to hypoallergenic products for eczema, which helped lessen the toxic load on my body; I also ate a extremely clean diet for 2 months, as my body had become so sensitive that whenever I ate the wrong foods (mainly sugar, wheat, and sauces), my body would break out in eczema and tingle.

Before – You can’t really tell, but my face was so red and painful that I would try to cover it with a hat.
Before – You can’t really tell, but my face was so red and painful that I would try to cover it with a hat.
eczema healed completely
Today – so much of the eczema has gone (and I’m not wearing any foundation on my face) 🙂

As I eliminated the allergens – wheat, sugar, MSG, processed foods, etc. – and filled my body with the nutrients that it was missing (i.e. through lots of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and superfoods), within 2 months, my body experienced dramatic healing. This was miraculous! It had never happened before. Of course, it took about another year to see 90% of my skin heal – since so much damage had been done. It took another while to see the last 10% heal (and trust me, that was the hardest part to heal!). I witnessed the power of food, as the greatest medicine that could cure my body.

My boyfriend (now husband) would make me food that I could eat – like this oatmeal breakfast with berries to help me in the difficult times.
My boyfriend (now husband) would make me food that I could eat – like this oatmeal breakfast with berries to help me in the difficult times.

Conventional medicine was not able to help me, nor were conventional doctors. They said that diet did not play a part in it – yet they were oblivious to the power of nature’s greatest resource: clean food and healing the gut. 2 months of eating clean food changed my skin more than a decade of using steroids and medication.

As time went on, and I treated my body well, my body began to heal more; my digestive system grew stronger, and I stopped tingling and reacting to foods I was sensitive to. Today, I am able to eat normal foods once again. I am also able to process toxins much better because I use great natural products for eczema – and I also feed my body the nutrients it needs on a daily basis.

My husband and I. He was really scared when everything flared up – but he didn’t leave and stayed to support me! It really made a big difference.
My husband and I. He was really scared when everything flared up – but he didn’t leave and stayed to support me! It really made a big difference.

It was a very scary experience. A lot of the eczema is gone now (with the exception of a few scars still healing). Of course, I still need to manage my body, because if I’m stressed, if I don’t eat well, or sleep well, sometimes some of eczema will pop up – but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

I hope to inspire you with my story, and to let you know that…if you keep persevering, and giving your body what it needs – it will heal.

A special thank you to Jesus, my husband, my wonderful family for playing such a big role in helping me heal. 🙂

source;http://primephysiquenutrition.com

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Bride manages to dance at her wedding despite being struck down with paralysing spinal injury

 

  • Kirsty Brutnell, 24, was diagnosed her with incurable syringomyelia
  • Condition involves cysts growing on the spinal cord, causing paralysis
  • She was not eligible for surgery as cysts were so close to her brain stem
  • Managed to train herself to walk short distances so she could do first dance

A young bride managed her first dance at her wedding despite being struck down with a paralysing spinal injury which doctors told her was incurable.

Kirsty Brutnell, 24, had been with her partner Adam, 28, for just three months when she woke one morning completely unable to use her legs.

Doctors diagnosed her with incurable syringomyelia – a condition which involves cysts growing on the spinal cord.

Brave: Kirsty Brutnell managed her first dance at her wedding despite being struck down with a paralysing spinal injury which doctors told her was incurable

Brave: Kirsty Brutnell managed her first dance at her wedding despite being struck down with a paralysing spinal injury which doctors told her was incurable

Shock: Miss Brutnell, 24, had been with her partner Adam, 28, for just three months when she woke one morning completely unable to use her legs

Shock: Miss Brutnell, 24, had been with her partner Adam, 28, for just three months when she woke one morning completely unable to use her legs

In Mrs Brutnell’s case, the cysts were growing perilously close to her brain stem, ruling out the possibility of surgery to remove them.

Mrs Brutnell, a former mental health nurse of Sturminster Newton, Dorset, said: ‘I worried about what the diagnosis meant for me and Adam.

‘We hadn’t been together for that long and I thought, “he hasn’t signed up for this”.

‘I actually told him to leave me, even though I loved him. But he was having none of it.’

Mrs Brutnell met Adam, a carpenter, through online dating in 2011 and says it was love at first sight.

She said: ‘Internet dating brought me the man of my dreams. I moved away from West Moors in East Dorset to Parracombe in North Devon where he lived to start a new life together. It was a bit of a whirlwind.’

Kirsty Brutnell
Kirsty and Adam

Condition: Doctors diagnosed Mrs Brutnell with incurable syringomyelia – a condition which involves cysts growing on the spinal cord

But then in April 2011, just two weeks after she relocated, she started to experience unsettling weakness in her lower body.

She said: ‘I collapsed at home. It was completely unexpected – it was as if my leg couldn’t hold me up anymore. I thought I was just tired, and hoped a night in bed would sort me out.’

But when she woke the next morning, she couldn’t feel anything below her hips at all.

An ambulance rushed her to North Devon District Hospital in Barnstaple where doctors diagnosed syringomyelia.

Syringomyelia sees a tube-shape cavity form and fill with liquid in the spinal cord.

Complications can be far reaching, including problems with pain, numbness, weakness, stiffness, control of bladder or bowel function, and paralysis.

Problem: In Mrs Brutnell's case, the cysts were growing perilously close to her brain stem, ruling out the possibility of surgery to remove them

Problem: In Mrs Brutnell’s case, the cysts were growing perilously close to her brain stem, ruling out the possibility of surgery to remove them

Cavities can get larger over time, exerting increased pressure, making symptoms worse.

However the damage can be halted and sometimes repaired with surgery.

But surgery was judged far too risky in Mrs Brutnell’s case because the cyst was so close to her brain-stem.

She said: ‘The doctors said although I could have physiotherapy to help me move again, I had a long road ahead, and if the cysts got any bigger, my paralysis could be permanent.

‘I thought it wasn’t fair on Adam to expect him to be my carer. We’d had loads of plans and it seemed we’d have to give them all up.

‘I told him to find someone else who he could live he dreams with and I promised I would understand.

‘When he came back to the hospital the next day, I knew he was devoted.’

Over the following months Mrs Brutnell learned to use an electric wheelchair and was able to train herself to walk short distances on crutches. In September 2013, the couple married.

Mrs Brutnell defied the expectations of doctors by managing to walk down the aisle, holding onto the arm of her grandfather, Brian, and enjoy her first dance.

Joy: Mrs Brutnell defied the expectations of doctors by managing to walk down the aisle and enjoy her first dance

Joy: Mrs Brutnell defied the expectations of doctors by managing to walk down the aisle and enjoy her first dance

She said: ‘Adam and I danced to Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s song “It’s Your Love”. For one day I could forget about all our troubles.

‘I wanted to do something special for Adam. I built up my strength beforehand to make sure I had the energy to do it.

‘Despite all our challenges, I feel lucky. If I’m ever having a down day I can remember our wedding day, and know that I’ll have Adam with me, no matter what.’
source;http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

 

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LOW CARB CAULIFLOWER MUSHROOM RISOTTO

This creamy mushroom cauliflower rice is the perfect low carb side dish. It’s so rich and delicious, you won’t believe it’s grain-free.

Low Carb Grain-Free Cauliflower Mushroom Risotto Recipe

Trader Joe’s is a magical land filled with fairy-tale ingredients at astonishingly unfairy-tale like prices. The first time you visit a TJs store, you are quite overcome at the dazzling array of “gourmet” foods that don’t have a gourmet price tag. You stand there, dazed, picking up a wedge of triple cream brie that costs less than 4 dollars and putting it down again, for fear that it isn’t actually real. When you finally dare to believe, you start filling your cart with any number of delights that would cost far more elsewhere. You grab some of this and some of that…oh, might as well get two or three of those, just in case you can’t come back anytime soon. Next thing you know, you’ve spent about twice as much as you intended. But you don’t care, because you are so excited to get into all those tasty treats. It’s the Trader Joe’s Phenomenon. It’s a chronic disease and there is no cure.

Creamy and delicious low carb cauliflower risotto. The best side dish!

At least that was my experience back in grad school, when Trader Joe’s was the mecca of grocery shopping in Tempe, Arizona. To my uninitiated Canadian eyes, that store at the corner of McClintock and Guadalupe was a temple of foodie delight and I worshipped there as often as my budget would allow. And it was Trader Joe’s that introduced me to arborio rice and hence to homemade risotto. Armed with a solid recipe from Mark Bittman, I mastered the creamy, delicate mushroom risotto on the first try. I was immensely pleased with myself and my gourmet cooking abilities. It quickly became a staple in our house.

Cauliflower and mushrooms, the beginnings of a great low carb side dish

And now credit once again goes to Trader Joe’s for helping me tackle a low carb mushroom risotto made with cauliflower rice. Ever the innovators, they are leading the charge on the cauli-rice front with not only their frozen organic bags but now with the fresh riced cauliflower in the produce section. Not that cauliflower rice is all that difficult to make at home as it is, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone do a little of the manual labour for you. Plus it’s one less kitchen appliance to wash at the end of the evening.

Our favourite keto side dish, low carb cauliflower mushroom risotto

I decided to put everything I knew about making regular risotto into making the low carb version, replete with the slow addition of liquid which then are allowed to slowly evaporate. I figured this was critical as it was, since cauliflower comes with its own high moisture content, unlike arborio rice. To help the wine and broth evaporate properly, I decided to cook the whole thing in a large sauté pan instead of a deep pot. And then I added a little cream to get a more creamy consistency. Interestingly, I found that the cauliflower did not cook as quickly as I might have thought it would and with this slow, careful cooking, it did not become mushy. I also tried it with both the frozen AND the fresh riced cauliflower from Trader Joe’s and there seemed to be little difference in how they cooked. The frozen simply took a little bit longer. So the good news is that you can use any riced cauliflower here…the frozen pre-made, the fresh pre-made, or some you’ve simply riced yourself at home.

Creamy Cauliflower Mushroom Risotto
 

Yield: 4 servings

 

This creamy mushroom cauliflower rice is the perfect low carb side dish. It’s so rich and delicious, you won’t believe it’s grain-free.

Ingredients

  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 8 ounces mushrooms, chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 12 ounces riced cauliflower (the frozen version works just as well as the fresh, no need to thaw)
  • 1/4 cup dry white wine
  • 1/4 to 1/2 cup chicken broth
  • 2 to 4 tbsp heavy cream
  • Copious amounts of grated parmesan cheese (okay, about 1/2 cup to start…add more as desired)

Instructions

  1. In a large saute pan, heat butter over medium heat until melted and hot. Add chopped mushrooms and garlic and sauté until mushrooms are tender and just turning golden brown. Season with salt and pepper.
  2. Reduce heat to medium low, add cauliflower, and toss to coat in the butter. Add white wine and cook until the liquid has bubbled away. Add broth a few tbsp at a time, stirring frequently and letting it evaporate each time.
  3. When cauliflower is becoming tender, add a little more broth and a few tbsp of cream. Cover with a lid and continue to cook, allowing the cauliflower to steam, until tender (adding a bit more broth and/or cream if needed).
  4. Stir in the parmesan and add any additional salt and pepper to taste. Serve with additional grated parmesan as desired.

Notes

Serves 4 as a side dish. Each serving has 5.24 g NET CARBS.

Food energy: 245kcal Total fat: 19.68g Calories from fat: 177 Cholesterol: 60mg Carbohydrate: 7.57g Total dietary fiber: 2.33g Protein: 9.18g

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Robot ‘teacher’ to help children with autism developed by scientists

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Scientists are investigating whether a cartoon-like robot can improve learning and emotional understanding in children with autism.

A team from Imperial College London and their partners in Europe have developed technology that enables an off-the-shelf robot called Zeno to interact in real-time with children who have autism. The researchers, who are currently trialling the technology in Serbia and the UK, believe that robots may provide an alternative approach for teaching children how to understand and convey their emotions.

It is amazing to see our technology bringing Zeno to life for children with autism. They absolutely love the robot.

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a condition that affects social interaction, communication, interests and behaviour. It’s estimated that about one in every 100 people in the UK has ASD. More boys are diagnosed with the condition than girls. Specialist teaching and therapy for children with autism focuses on helping them to learn to convey their emotions and understand other people’s emotions. This is done by getting them to understand the conventional ways that people express themselves through a combination of facial expression and gestures.

However, trying to read a combination of facial expressions and gestures can be confusing for the children and means they often prefer to avoid eye contact and contact in general. This has led scientists to wonder whether there are alternative methods for teaching children with autism, which are more aligned with the way they process information and see the world.

Now, the researchers on the four-year DeEnigma project are exploring whether robots can provide a consistent and fun way for children with autism to learn more about emotions. Robots, because of their programming, are precise, displaying the same facial expressions and gestures in every interaction. Researchers believe this consistency may be the key to helping young children with autism to learn the different facial expressions gestures people use to display their emotions. The robot also appeals to the way children with autism prefer things that are predictable.

Professor Maja Pantic, Imperial’s project lead from the Department of Computing, said: “Autism affects people in different ways. However, many struggle with understanding and conveying emotions, often preferring to shut out what they don’t understand. It is important to help them to understand how people convey their emotions so that they don’t find human interactions so confusing and that is why we think our project is so important.”

‘Zeno says’: About the game

The DeEnigma project, which began in 2016, is a collaboration between five European universities including Imperial, plus autism charities and industrial partners.

The researchers have combined a range of audio, visual, facial recognition and artificial intelligence technologies, which they have been developing over the years, into one platform. The platform was then programmed to be able to detect and decipher sound and visual cues from the children they are interacting with.

When the platform is connected to Zeno, it enables it to spontaneously interact in real-time with a child and conduct a simple lesson.

Professor Pantic added: “It is amazing to see our technology bringing Zeno to life for children with autism. They absolutely love the robot. Their faces really light up when they see it. For example, we’ve had feedback from a parent who said their non-verbal child of six spoke for the first time in excited anticipation about his next lesson with Zeno, which is amazing to hear.”

The lesson involves a child playing with the robot in a game called ‘Zeno says’. The first part of the game involves Zeno asking the child to describe what they see in a set of pictures, such as images of people being happy or angry.

The child must explain what the faces in the picture mean and how he or she would display those emotions. Zeno responds by showing the correct expressions to the child and adding useful comments. Lastly, Zeno tells a simple story that involves a friend accidentally stepping on its favourite toy and breaking it. Zeno asks the child to explain how the friend felt in that situation.

The first research of its kind

This interaction between autistic children and a robot, where the robot can ‘see’ and ‘hear’ the child and recognise their expressions, is the first research of its kind, says Professor Pantic. A previous study had programmed a robot to deliver a monologue to children with autism as a method of teaching them about feelings, but the technology did not allow for there to be any spontaneous sensor-based interaction, making it less realistic. The DeEnigma team believe spontaneous interactions may make learning exciting, fun and easier for children with autism.

The ultimate aim of the project is to roll Zeno-like robots out to specialist schools to help teach children with autism. The DeEnigma team also have ethical approval for sharing the data they collect with other research groups in Europe. The team say this should mean faster progress can be made to understand more about the condition in children and how it affects their development.

Professor Pantic adds that sharing information across Europe gives the project a unique edge. She predicts that it will have a long-lasting impact in research on autism.